LATE SAT/EARLY SUN BOX-OFFICE UPDATE: LANTERN very low at $53mil!

"In brightest day.  In blackest night.  In emptier theatres."

GREEN LANTERN is a disappointment no matter which way the studio will spin the numbers Sunday morning.

"I'll give you this ring if you buy a ticket!"

It started with a less-than-stellar $21mil Friday, stumbled Saturday (down 21% from Friday with $17mil) and instead of numbers north of $60mil it looks to settle at about $53mil for the first three days.

High number?  Sure.  But as I wrote yesterday the movie final cost (production, prints, advertising) is about $400mil(!).  A $60mil start means its domestic run ends at about $200mil (at most!).  Hopefully it makes back more money internationally.



http://www.deadline.com/2011/06/green-lantern-makes-3-35m-midnights/


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A (Ganges) river runs through him...

Crudeness aside, I find Tanorexia! a learning experience as I try to get the facts right and often hit up Wikipedia (don't snicker) for basic facts like this:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Major_rivers_of_India

My dad said "If you learn at least one thing a day, you've succeeded."  He's right.   :-)

EARLY BOX OFFICE: GREEN LANTERN $60mil/wknd. PENGUINS $18mil

           

GREEN LANTERN opened strong Friday with $24mil but looks like a slight disappointment with about $60mil projected for the three-day weekend.

Comparisons for the year:  THOR opened with $65mil over three days while X-MEN: FIRST CLASS had $55mil in its opening weekend.

THOR looks to end its run with about $185mil which gives it a about a 3x multiplier (based on total gross divided by opening weekend).

Using the same math (most movies fall within a 2.5 to 3.5 multiplier) GREEN LANTERN should end up with about the same.  The film's cost though is $300mil though plus millions more in advertising.  It should be OK after foreign grosses get tallied.

MR. POPPER'S PENGUINS looks surprisingly weak for a kids film AND a Jim Carrey vehicle with only $18mil.  It will probably lose a lot of its potential audience next week to CARS 2.


http://www.deadline.com/2011/06/green-lantern-makes-3-35m-midnights/

http://boxofficemojo.com/


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Similar kiss/Different reasons...

They speak!

http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/british-columbia/story/2011/06/17/vancouver-kissing-couple.html

...and the picture from WWII has a story as well.

http://newsfeed.time.com/2010/06/23/kissing-nurse-from-the-famous-photograph-dies/

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Two cartoon Friday! One riot, one mean!

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Early Thursday posting: Bruins fans get fired up. Canuck fans just start fires...

I'm so mad at those few "fans" who tarnished the city's reputation YET again.
I was at the gym and the PITTSBURGH news was showing footage from Vancouver.

Lovely.  Just lovely.


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Air Canada and Canada Post. One more and we got a strike three!!

I hemmed and hawed about publishing this one.  Not because of the punchline but because I don't enjoy making timely jokes.  It dates the comic and just like watching This Hour Has 22 Minutes reruns the jokes have lost their punch and sometimes people don't get the references.

But I still love the punchline.  :-)

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A Siamese twin hooker offered me a 2-for-1 for my birthday...

I won't be happy until I offend ALL of you!  :P

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Women in spandex = Guys in jogging pants

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Best. Parking Spot. Ever.

Worse yet:  My girlfriend thinks I should apply for 'disability'...


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Saturday update: SUPER 8 starts off with $12mil Friday for an est. $35mil wkend..Is this a disappointment?

                   

First off:  LOVE the new SUPER 8 poster.  Very Struzan-inspired like the above examples.

  

So SUPER 8 started off with $12 million for it's first two days (it quietly opened Thursday on 300+ IMAX screens (not good for hyping it up people!) and about $35mil is expected for its first 3-days.

On paper that's pretty impressive for the first real non-sequel, non-comic-book-adapted event movie of this summer but is disappointing?

Look at the big numbers so far for 3-day opening weekends for the summer of 2011:

PIRATES 4                           $90mil

FAST FIVE                           $86mil

HANGOVER II                      $86mil

THOR                                  $65mil

KUNG FU PANDA 2            $47mil

The highest opening weekend of a non-sequel/adaptation is BRIDESMAIDS at $26mil (which can hardly be considered an event film).  

So yes, $35mil versus those films is a letdown considering the J.J. Abrams/Spielberg pedigree but the real test will be at the end of season when the TOTAL dollars are tallied.  All those event films listed above dropped like stones in their respective next weekends.  Very few films have staying power and are very front-loaded (when the audience comes out first weekend) and with a new event film every week this summer every movie must make their money ASAP.

I still think this film will be a surprise sleeper hit.

Sources: 

http://www.deadline.com/2011/06/first-box-office-super-8-on-target-for-about-11m-friday-and-30m-weekend/

http://www.boxofficemojo.com

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A 500lb. trailer gal is like a scooter - Fun to ride but you don't want your friends seeing you with one...

As much as the headline and cartoon sounds mean it actually is making fun of me as I actually went to my high school grad alongside my friend David.   *Sigh*

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I'm such a boob!

So if I held a mirror vertically just right she would appear all naked or all-dressed.  I like all-dressed chips!

If I held the mirror so she looked all naked it would work unless she had a zit on one side of her crotch that would suddenly appear doubled.  Yick!


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I'm no help at all!

Nasty.

I'm forty and I still think gas is funny :-)

I really should question how a skeleton can fart but that would then require me to ask how he's talking too.  Too much thinking.

My son graduates from Grade 8. F--k I'm old!

And here we are at his grad tonight...

F--k!  Next to him I'm SO old!!

Protein shakes taste like flavoured sand...

Cookies are my kryptonite.

Why I dislike prequels...

"We'll let you stand up when you tell us why you skipped us for Hangover 2!"

SO...

     It looks like the new X-MEN prequel FIRST CLASS is being considered a disappointment at $54mil for the weekend.  What's surprising is that currently it's sitting at 87% at RottenTomatoes (a critics ratings site) and got a B+ score from audiences (from Cinemascore).

     Sure, it loses some of its previous audience to those tired of X-MEN and superhero movies but in general I blame it on being a "what happened before" story or prequel.

     Prequels and reboots (restarting a series) have become the norm these days to rescue series that have gone past their expiry date or a new way of re-casting (ie. save money) while keeping the brand name.

     Yes, there's the THE GODFATHER: PART II but how many other prequels/reboots have worked?  I think the Bond reboot (CASINO ROYALE) and 2009's STAR TREK succeeded but then there's THE PHANTOM MENACE....

To think I bought tickets two weeks in advance to THIS! 

     The original STAR WARS trilogy was perfect.  Three chapters:  a start, cliffhanger and resolution.  For 16 years it stood as the definitive trilogy.  Then, George Lucas decided he had to explain EVERYTHING that was mentioned in the first three films.

     The result watered down what the original STAR WARS accomplished.  Using the STAR WARS prequel trilogy and other examples I'll try to explain why I don't like prequels...




1.  EXPLAIN TOO MUCH = LESSENING THE IMAGINATION

     When Obi-Wan Kenobi explained how Anakin Skywalker fell into the lava and came out as Darth Vader it asked us to utilize our imagination.  Then George Lucas felt the need to show us his interpretation.  Gee thanks...

"The floor is lava!!"

     When a movie adaptation of a book comes out so many people say the book is always better.  Why?  Because we're using our imagination, our greatest gift of our mind.  To see it spelled out either in a movie or play seems to diminish the book's power to us.

    The same rule applies to prequels.  I didn't want to see what "peaceful Alderaan" looked like before Darth Vader blew it up in real good in STAR WARS.  I had that picture in my mind before George Lucas showed me in REVENGE OF THE SITH...

I imagined a heavenly place before the big bang...

 
        ...and after Lucas showed me



2.  PREQUELS  FEEL UNNECESSARY

     When you walked out of the theatre after seeing RETURN OF THE JEDI or X-MEN: LAST STAND did you turn to your friend and say, "Boy!  I hope they explain everything that happened before with prequels!"    Of course not.  Most prequels don't add anything new and feel like they're grabbing at straws to explain their existence.  Would we have been left hanging without the STAR WARS prequel trilogy?  Of course not!


3.  WITHOUT THE ORIGINAL CAST, IT FEELS LIKE A SECOND RATE DRESS-UP PARTY

     The original X-MEN trilogy utilized all its original actors and good actors at that.  Patrick Stewart, Ian McKellan, Hugh Jackman, Halle Berry to name a few.

"I did #3 for the paycheck!  Honest!"

     The new movie?  Kevin Bacon (yes a bigger name) then Michael Fassbender, James McAvoy, Bill Milner, January Jones.

Soon to be waiting on you in a trendy L.A. restaurant...

     Umm, OK.

     Yes, some people may know who they are but compared to the (costlier) cast of the original trilogy it just doesn't have that ooomph.  CASINO ROYALE got away with this because it's been accepted by James Bond fans that it's OK to recast the main role.

"Bald, James Bald"

     Quick!  Name the original cast of STAR TREK.  Good job.  Quick again!  Name the new cast of the 2009 reboot.  Yeah, not so easy, huh?


4.   TRYING TO CRAM TOO MUCH EXPLANATION INTO TOO LITTLE TIME

     I'm trying to stay spoiler free with the new X-MEN movie but let's just say within the last 20 minutes of the movie so many things happen to wrap it up to fit in before the original X-MEN trilogy that it's preposterous.  If Rome wasn't built in a day, the X-MEN universe wasn't built in two hours.  It just was too much.


5.  SHOWING WHAT HAPPENS NEXT WITH A SEQUEL OPENS UP MORE POSSIBILITIES

     I've always believed that if George Lucas made a NEW trilogy that was a continuation of the original trilogy (let's call them 7,8 and 9) they would be the biggest movies ever.  Imagine all the new storylines.  Sure, they'd have to make up new characters or creatively cast the classic roles but so what?  It's NEW STAR WARS!

     Sequels are said to be watered down from the originals.  Yes, for 99.99% of them out there that is very true.  But take the right writers, cast, director and people who honestly CARE about the source material and you'll make a good story.  THE GODFATHER: PART II was an inventive prequel/sequel mix that many consider better than the original.  STAR TREK II: THE WRATH OF KHAN, ALIENS and TERMINATOR 2: JUDGEMENT DAY are others that are considered superior to their originals.

BHHK:  Before Hired Help's Kid 

"I forsee your death.  No, in real life Cazzale.  Sorry!"

What are your thoughts?

-bri

"There were some things man was not meant to see..."

To be honest, I DID actually see and like X-MEN: FIRST CLASS but I'm usually writing this comic strip about seven days in advance.

Still wouldn't suggest a film of my origins though...

Picturing me tanning naked = Appetite suppressant

Why is it that when you go to a nudist beach you see people you'd never wanna see naked?

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$23mil Friday/ $58mil Est. Wkend: X MEN: FIRST CLASS looks weak.

For any other movie $60 million would look impressive but look at the following opening weekends:


X-Men                                  (2000)    $54mil (adjusted for inflation: $79mil)
X-Men 2                               (2003)    $86mil
X-Men 3                               (2006)    $102mil
also:
X-Men Origins:  Wolverine  (2009)    $85mil

SO..whether it's the fourth or fifth entry in the series that $60mil weekend estimate looks pretty soft.


2011 big opening weekends:

Pirates 4       $90mil
Fast Five      $86mil
Hangover 2  $85mil
Thor             $65mil.


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Guess who won't EVER be a sponsor of this page?

This originated from the old joke where a guy asks his friend what a senior tastes like.  He shrugged his shoulders and replied, "Depends." 

Yum.

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Why are they called that??

Who doesn't love peanut butter?

Reminds me of that urban legend about the woman having a surprise party for her, a dog and peanut butter...
http://www.snopes.com/risque/animals/peanutbutter.asp

:P

Yummy!!

Heh heh heh!!

$1 - all summer long!

I think that yes, Coke tastes WAAAAAAAAAAY better than Diet Coke or Coke Zero but I'll follow an old friend's advice:  Don't drink you calories.

And 310 calories, 1/7 of your daily calorie intake just on one pop?  Coke will be just a treat for me when I am not in a Zero mood. 

If you love your imagination, I help it run away with you...

Happy Sunday eatin' everyone!!

Redheads might turn my head but blondes from The Rock are keepers... :-)

Oh look!  A masturbation joke!  Who'd have thunk?

Nudist beaches are funny...and kinda gross too...

It's the weekend!  Feel free to run naked around the house.  Not my house though.  I haven't laid down any plastic and you probably are leaking somewhere...

TWISTER II: THIS TIME IT'S PERSONAL

Yeah, I'm gonna piss off someone with this one...

THE PHANTOM RIP-OFF

34 years ago today, on a Wednesday no less,  STAR WARS opened and movies were changed forever.

The Hurt Locker Room...

I woke up after all sticky too.  Thought I had showered before I fell asleep.  Ah well...

May 23, 2011: Happy Victoria Day M-f'ers!!

Who's you Daddy? No seriously, WHO is your daddy?

I'm debating whether I should make this strip topical or still with Charles Schultz's 'keep it timeless' philosophy.  Hmmmmm..... Making fun of people is ALWAYS easy....

The RAPTURE causes PIRATES 4 to disappoint at the box office...yeah, that's why...

THE RAPTURE!

Like the world really needed another PIRATES movie.

Crappy reviews, audiences still having the bitter taste of DEAD MAN'S CHEST and AT WORLD'S END on their palate and just plain fatigue gave PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN: ON STRANGER TIDES (hereby known as P4) the lowest opening day for a sequel in the series.

Opening days:                               $

DEAD MAN'S CHEST                 56mil

AT WORLD'S END                      43mil

ON STRANGER TIDES               35mil

This doesn't bode well for P4 as it's front-loaded with audiences rushing out first week for this movie.  Next week should see a drop of 50% of its audience which will cement its run as the lowest grosser of the series.

On the plus side, the much-lower costing BRIDESMAIDS lost only 19% of its audience from opening day last week.  It's this year's HANGOVER sleeper hit for sure.

Bri and the Real Girl

For those new to the world of Tanorexia, it's a comic that I started back in April this year.  The words are mine but the graphics and interface are from a program called http://www.makebeliefscomix.com/.  It's a lot of fun!

Brian has a blog!!

I'm heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeere!  :-)

Hi everyone or no one depending on when this is read.

Here you'll find my trying-to-be-funny comic strip TANOREXIA, movie reviews, observations on life, 'rassling notes and weekend box-office analysis.

At the sound of Tinkerbell's bell ringing turn the page and we'll begin....